I told you I was a cynic, and situations like this bring cynicism to the fore. Like everything that works, the 'gratitude attitude' movement has been taken up by people who see an opportunity to make a little money. You can buy gratitude journals and workbooks, mugs and t-shirts, bumper stickers, refrigerator magnets and yoga pants. You can go to pricey weekend workshops on how to feel gratitude. You can barely move these days without someone getting in your face and telling you to BE GRATEFUL, DAMMIT.
The thing that's disappointing to cynical me is that there really is some truth to it. I want to be able to say that it's all just a bunch of crap, a wheelbarrow full of rainbows and unicorns and fairy dust, designed to get you to put up with a situation that you shouldn't put up with, stay with that abusive husband (be grateful he works so hard to keep a roof over your head!), don't make any noises about bad situations at work (at least you've got a job!). Instead of blowing off steam by griping about the idiot you had to deal with in customer service, be grateful that you were able to get through to someone.
Not to mention the whole smugness issue. I drove behind someone in a $60,000 SUV a few weeks ago whose license plate was "GR8TFUL." The owners may have a perfectly legitimate business- or family-related reason to have that car, so I don't want to be too critical of that specific person. But the general idea made me roll my eyes. Imagine how it sounds to a mom juggling two part-time jobs driving a car that gets by mainly on hope and a couple of bungee cords.
*clears throat* *looks sheepish* OK, apparently I had a little bit of steam to vent there. I guess I should learn to be grateful that I've had the opportunity to examine my own value system by comparing it with others. Or something like that.
But I'm serious when I say the gratitude thing works. You can't ignore situations that need fixing. You can't slap a complacent, grateful smile on your blatant exploitation of our materialist culture and think that makes it OK. You especially can't tell someone else who is economically or socially less advantaged than you that they should shut up and be grateful without giving some serious consideration to the issues they're complaining about.
But having a basic stance of gratitude--it's such a privilege to be alive, to be here on the planet--changes everything. Maybe what we can shoot for is: I'm so grateful to be alive on this planet that I'm willing to work to create a life that reflects that gratitude. So that our efforts to change things stem not from a sense of entitlement or heedless rage, but from a positive desire for the world to be a better place. (hmmmm. not too sure about that, I'm just thinking this up as I go. what do you think?)
I could go on and on, but I don't need to. You can learn everything you want to know about gratitude by tuning in to the gratitude people. I'm just here to be the cranky old bat, and remind you that there are some situations that you should not be grateful for. If you're in a toxic situation, you have plenty of time to be grateful for what you learned after you've left.
Thank you (gratitude!) to Laurel for reminding me about this a couple of months ago when I was all set to post the cynical part of this post without the reminder that we are lucky to be here.
And here you go: something that makes me glad that I am alive on this particular planet at this particular time when we can share things like this with each other.
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