A couple of years ago when I went to visit my mom in Texas, I went with her to her Sunday School class at her Southern Baptist church. There were about 40 people in the class, mostly retirement-age couples. The guy who taught the class was obviously a very intelligent man, with interesting things to say. I even found myself jotting down notes for a couple of possible blog posts.
But when he was almost done, he said something that caused me to stare in disbelief. He said (probably not an exact quote): "It's a good thing I'm a Christian, because if it weren't for the fear of eternal damnation, you better believe I'd be out there sleeping with every beautiful woman I could find."
I'm not making that up. He might have meant it as a joke, because it got a laugh out of the audience, although in my memory, it was mainly male laughter.
But I was shocked. First of all, the guy is delusional. The number of beautiful women out there holding their breath waiting for the chance to jump him as soon as he decides to cheat on his wife? Probably zip.
But putting that aside, he couldn't be bothered to be faithful to his wife out of loyalty? out of commitment to their lengthy marriage? or, geeze, let me think here....because he loves her? The only thing that is keeping him from hopping in the sack with the first willing babe he could find is fear of hellfire?
The whole idea is so screwed up that it still ticks me off two years later. His wife was sitting right there in the front row. Lesson One in how not to humiliate your wife: don't publicly announce that the only reason you're faithful to her is because otherwise you're afraid you'd burn in hell.
You can probably see where I'm going with this. In yesterday's post, we had Dan Savage and the Savage Love community, addressing some pretty outrageous situations, yet doing their best to make ethical decisions based on fairness and respect. Mr. Sunday School Teacher would undoubtedly consider Dan Savage to be an immoral pervert, yet he is basing his ethical decisions on fear and questionable theology, and in the process embarrassing his wife half to death.
Which one would you go to for advice?
That is so STARTLING, but…. he's probably speaking "his" truth, and is too self-absorbed to even REALIZE how shameful and TELLING that remark is. It's those "off the cuff" moments that can really reveal character, huh? I am still LIVID about the comments the renowned evangelist directed AT ME during my dad's funeral. I sat there, in shock and devastation with tears running down my cheeks, and he stopped mid-"message" and turned and looked at me (sitting next to my same sex partner) and just bellowed, "Those of us who KNOW JESUS have no need for tears today, because WE KNOW that we will see ALFRED again in Heaven…blah blah blah…Jesus… blah blah blah." It hurt my feelings, on a day when my feelings were already demolished, and it made me SO ANGRY. He intimated that I was crying because I wasn't going to heaven, and would forever be denied my dad's companionship. But, he was unsuccessful in hijacking my memories of my sweet dad, and my solid faith in the love he had for me which will outlast anything that poor excuse for a man could ever say. Such a shame. Dan Savage certainly spices up life, but the language is too salty for this old prude. ,>/
ReplyDeleteyeah, I have to just turn my profanity filter off when I read him, sorry about that. My own language can be pretty bad so maybe that's why I can do it.
DeleteAnd that is just horrible what that guy said at your dad's funeral. Shameful. Even though I'm no longer an Evangelical, the way it used to be practiced gave me such a rich background of theological insight. It makes me so sad when I see it reduced to the far right extremists' message of hate and fear. Try this when you have time, which I find very sad: http://bit.ly/1CynEmF