how not to meditate

Usually if you're reading a how-to post, you can reasonably expect that the person writing it has some competence in the subject. That would not be the case with me and meditation. I do realize the absurdity of me expecting you to read a post about how to meditate from someone who is terrible at meditation.

However, despite my ineptitude, the older I get the more I get out of meditation, even though I'm terrible at it and even though I don't seem to get any "better" at it as time goes by. So rather than giving you a set of instructions, this is just a series of disconnected thoughts intended to get you to try it. The only rationale I have is that I learned more from a yoga teacher who was genetically inflexible than I ever did from the ones who could already put their foot behind their head before they ever tried yoga.

- Although meditation has been used as a spiritual practice in religious settings for millennia, it isn't inherently religious. Meditation is a mental skill that helps you reduce stress and get a better perspective on whatever burdens you're carrying. If you have a set of religious beliefs for context, that works, too.

- The type of Christianity I was raised in is wary of meditation because it seems vaguely Eastern. I wouldn't have been able to tell you anything about it, but it seemed suspicious. But actually there is a long history of Christian meditation going back centuries. For example, John of the Cross, Ignatius of Loyola, Teresa of Avila, and many others.

- You will hear that meditation works best when you do it at the same time in the same place every day. That's probably true, but it doesn't work for me. I do best at staying with it when I mix it up a little. One day I'll actually sit and meditate the way you're "supposed" to, one day I'll try it while walking. I can't meditate immediately after I wake up because my brain is too foggy, so sometimes I do it after breakfast, sometimes in the afternoon, rarely in the evening. Sometimes I use music designed for meditation, sometimes something else (anything without words), sometimes no music at all. Three minutes, ten minutes, twenty. I have no standard practice.

- How not to meditate: Don't sit there with your jaw clenched trying to CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. That will just lead to anger and frustration. Meditation is mental relaxation--a chance to sit and watch your monkey mind jump through all its routines: worry, stress, all the responsibilities you're trying to juggle.

I'm not going to tell you that none of those things are important, because a lot of the things we worry about are important. But as I've practiced meditation, I've come to realize that there's an element of my worry and stress that is just a hamster on a wheel. It's not productive, it's not helping any, it's just my brain whizzing and whirring because it's in the habit of doing that.

Gah. I can't tell you how often I sit down to write a post thinking that it will only be 3-4 paragraphs because I don't have much to say. Then I start typing and I end up going on and on. Believe it or not, I'm only about halfway done. So I guess I'll split this into two. More later.