When I first started this blog, it was supposed to be about celebrating midlife, and to some extent it still is. But early on, I was trying to speak for all women in their fifties, and after a few months, I realized I couldn't do it. The experience of women in their fifties is just too diverse. It seemed like I was often wrong, and I hate being wrong. So I went back to writing purely personal stuff.
But you know what? As I went back and read through old posts, I realized a couple of things. One is that I really have lost my sense of humor. I used to be a lot funnier. The second is back to the topic of having opinions. I'm a middle child, or maybe that has nothing to do with it, but I like people to get along. I don't like disagreements or confrontation.
So over time, I've (mostly) stopped expressing opinions I thought might be objectionable. But having opinions is what makes reading a blog interesting. Not sure what to do about this one since I still don't like controversy (not that I ever was particularly controversial). Hmmmmm. Thinking.
On with the midlife thoughts. The first three appeared in a 7Things post, so I pulled them out and here they are. Originally appeared April 24, 2015, slightly edited.
- OK, so let's start celebrating midlife. For my short story class yesterday we read two stories (Updike "The Happiest I've Been" and Tillie Olsen "I Stand Here Ironing") that are at least in part about learning from the past. So Celebration #1: We've got lots of past to learn from. Of course you're never past the age of making mistakes, but one of the best things I've learned from my past is how to learn from my past. (2018 editorial comment: sometimes I learn from my past.)
- It also came up in discussion of those two stories how many mistakes we make when we're young that are unavoidable. You don't know anything when you're young, in spite of the fact that you think you know everything, so you make mistakes. It's entirely possible that the wisdom of being older is simply knowing that you don't know everything, therefore maybe being a little bit gentler, a little bit more humble, which makes mistakes less glaringly obvious. So, Celebration #2: we cover up our goofs better.
- Celebration #3: A few days ago I was reading over some drama on FB that one of my younger women friends posted and I thought, OH MY LORD I'm so glad I'm past that age. My irl friends and I have our ups and downs, but I am so thankful that I'm past the age where a single remark or a snipe-y interaction can ruin my day.
to be continued.
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