brain antics

I've been thinking about my brain recently. I guess you can't really be objective about your own brain, so maybe this is just an exercise in futility. But I do think as I've gotten older I've learned how to deal with my brain a bit better.

Brains lie to us, you know. Your brain tells you that you'll be happy if you sit down in front of the TV at 7 o'clock every night and don't turn the TV off until 11. Your brain tells you that what you really need is a couple of glazed donuts with sprinkles. Your brain tells you there's no point in trying because you always fail anyway. Or maybe your brain says that if you're not on social media all day, Life will pass you by.

Or maybe you have a different kind of brain, the kind that tells you if you don't run five miles every other day you'll be a fat slob. Or if you order the wrong wine at a trendy restaurant, you'll never recover from the shame. Or if you let the dishes sit in the sink overnight you'll die alone. 

Everybody has lies they tell themselves. Sometimes they're lies that rationalize doing things we want to do anyway (like eating that donut). Sometimes the lies come from ideas we picked up when we were children (like there's no point in trying because you always fail). Sometimes our brains are just bored and want to be entertained (so watch TV for four hours every night).

I don't have a solution to this. Meditation helps because you start to see these things, these crazy things your brain is whispering to you all the time. But it doesn't really help you figure out what to do about them. At this very late date in my life, I'm finally learning to look at the results rather than listening to the lies. Does playing computer games for hours on end really make me happy? Do I feel good when I eat six cookies? Did the world stop when I couldn't find my phone and missed a bunch of stuff on social media?

Maybe I can grow up a little and figure out what I really need. Playing computer games for ten or fifteen minutes really does feel fun and relaxing for my brain when I need a break from something I've been working on. But if I'm still sitting there an hour later, I'm usually frustrated and mad at myself for wasting time.

Maybe a little forethought, a little intentionality is required. Figuring out what I really want instead of what my brain is telling me I want. (Which of course involves using your brain. This doesn't exactly make sense.)

(and p.s. of course there are times when zoning out in front of the TV for hours is exactly what you want/need to do. Or eating the donut, or going for a run, or whatever. But sometimes it's not.)

This is a little bit related to the disappointment topic I brought up last week, believe it or not. I got sidetracked into this one while I was thinking about that one. More soon.